i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
