just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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