'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
