Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
