batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
