YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
