Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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