I wish I could teleport
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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