I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
