what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
