Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I need mimosas to revive my soul
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
