That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
this just has baby written all over it
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
