I could make wine with my vomit
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
