I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
im holly from the hills drunk
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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