all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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