Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
