If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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