We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
