the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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