Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
