you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
