meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
bring money and cleavage
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
