I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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