It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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