Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
