Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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