His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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