The beer is more important than you right now.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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