To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
