Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
