I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Found the puke drawer
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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