Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
