Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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