the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
