Nicole vs. Life
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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