So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My feet surprised me
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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