My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
