who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
