Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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