its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I am naked and annoyed.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
