What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
