3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
