Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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