On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
