god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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