I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
