Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
