I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
