Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It's just like the Real World with babies
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
