new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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