she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
