He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
